| Power: | OH NO
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| People: | What
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| Power: | OHHH NO
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| People: | WHAT
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| Power: | We've discovered something that could spell the END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT
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| People: | OH NO what is it? Let us see!
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| Power: | No, it's too dangerous. No one can see it
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| People: | Okay, you know best. Just tell us what it is!
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| Power: | Watch this infotainment DVD we conveniently prepared just in case this exact scenario happened
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| People: | *watches* What are you going to do about it?! Think of the children!
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| Power: | There is one way to stop it, but we have to be quick! There's no time to lose! You have to trust us.
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| People: | Oh snap! Alright, whatever it takes
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| Power: | Ready? On three. One... two... three! Quick give us all your money
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| People: | ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod... ahhhh!!! *flailing*
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| Power: | OH NO! It's not working! Some terrorists made a black hole and now it's sucking up all the money! We need more currency to power the Freedom Cannon so we can destroy it! Quickly! No time to stop and think for even a second!
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| People: | AAARRGGGH!!! *desperately throwing spare change*
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| Power: | k, sweet. Here's a list of things you're not allowed to do anymore
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| People: | Are we safe now?!
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| Power: | Um. Yeah, sure I guess. Whatever
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| People: | Phew! Thank God we had you to save us!
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| Power: | *reads from autocue* On this day! - we demonstrated the power of an idea. On this day, people across this great nation responded to the rallying call of their country and gave everything they had, for freedom. On this day we came together and showed - as once our forefathers did before us - that if you believe in hope, nothing is impossible!
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| People: | *applause* (Yeah! Wooh! Go us!)
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| Power: | *basks*
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| People: | Wait... we have a question. If the terrorists created a black hole, how come the Freedom Cannon didn't get sucked in too?
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| Power: |
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| Power: |
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| Power: |
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| People: | ... so the reason we needed money to power the Freedom Cannon to collapse the black hole... was because all of the money... was being sucked into the black hole? That makes no sense
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| Power: |
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| Power: |
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| Power: | *commercial break*
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| Power: |
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| Power: |
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| Power: | OMG WHAT IS THAT IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU
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| Power: | Quick, give us all your money |